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| Just love and let them grow |
My anger is volatile because I know how does being scolded feels like… You don’t like it at all…if u have been scolded by somebody…for whatever reason it may be…whether you have done anything or not…u always hate the person who scolds you.” Y is he talking to me like this…he also does the same but why can’t I…I didn’t do it but nobody would listen…what should I do that people should think twice before talking so rudely to me…when will they start treating me like a grown up?...I wanna live the way I like.” This is how every teenager feels. But we grow up and start treating the youngsters the same way we have been as we hardly have enough time to bring about a change.
The idea of scolding is only to keep the fear alive in one’s mind so that he may not attempt something which is bad for him directly or indirectly…for short span or for long term. The motive is to make him understand the fact. But out of anger we usually go on and add some unnecessary drama into the act which makes a deep and emotional impact inside the subject’s mind. This impact is hurting and the subject gets afraid of attempting the prohibited thing and people start believing that they succeeded in teaching the subject a lesson but actually the subject gets afraid of experiencing such a thing…which makes him insecure in his own family. Or the subject will get curious and might go on attempting the act behind everybody’s back which is a clear indication of a failure in getting the lesson taught. Who is the culprit??? The scolder.
What is the solution? Actions speak louder than words. If you want to carve a personality out of a teenager you have to lead by examples. Do things the way you want him to do. Speak of decent thoughts. Do noble deeds. Be honest. Create a healthy environment around. Encourage him to be a good human being. Rather than pushing back we should motivate them to turn around and move forward…towards the right direction. But what is right and what is wrong has to be conveyed to those who lack the understanding. The trick to success lies in the way the message is being conveyed. And the method depends upon the person whom you are dealing with. How can you induce him? Sometimes bribing can be handy but care should be taken that the real motive behind the exercise should be explained to the subject so that he can absorb it as part of his character.
Good companions are also very crucial and being one of his good companions is also very necessary as at this age he can very easily follow his companion rather than a scolding parent or a bossy sibling.
When things get out of control then boycotting can be effective but it is very painful both for you and for him. It’s a critical operation and the family bond becomes very sensitive during the execution.
Overall this phase of parenthood is very significant and all your experience and patience comes into play. Sculpting a good human being is a noble act and you should never lose your nerves until you are done with it.
