Engineering Lessons Part 1

I recently was listening to my friend who was playing Annie's song on his acoustic guitar unplugged...oh boy!!! He really played well...I could make out the sound of every note that was in the original composition with the absolutely correct rhythm!!! How can anybody do that???Thats my target, thats how well i should be playing. Another day i was in the pool and was trying my speed and stamina...10 minutes of continuous freestyle and i had just covered 3 complete rounds of the breadth or 60 m whichever sounds more respectful...well none i suppose coz thats too slow. I must work hard,need to spend more time in the pool.How can I manufacture some more hours for myself in the day? I know I can't.In the common hall with table tennis bat in the right hand struggling to defeat the opponent and everytime a smash shattered my defenses i lost the hope of winning.
Like most of the youth I also don't want to continue a job oriented life for too long. With many business plans in the mind and no money in the pocket we just chat about it that someday we will have a setup of our own. Why not!! But when and how? Well...is becoming a writer also in the list??? Of course not.And yes last but not the least...I wanna have a good enough physique...why??...you all know why.
So many things to learn

so much money to earn.

Everyday there is a new goal to work upon

can't just focus on one.

That is when i became an engineer. All the four years of college life I easily waisted in deciding which way to go. When i started working for 1 thing other goals would start attracting me. Confusions confusions confusions...where is the focus? LOST. There were only 2 questions:-

i) Why I should do it?

ii) Why I should not do it?

The bad part was...many answers for question(ii) but not a single answer for (i) the outcome was null.
Don't think that I have been thinking about myself only. There was a lot to confess to dear ones, many questions to be asked but being a 5 pointer and moreover a confused personality I could hardly gain confidence to speak. Always wanted to achieve something before opening my big mouth.
As they say 'better late than never' final sem was the time when i realised that to express something or to confess something you don't need to have an achievement in your resume...you just have to say it from the bottom of your heart. In fact if you achieve something and then say...it won't be from the core it would be a formality. Its a win win situation and when you are on the safe side you cannot "confess". Its just like you are proposing a girl and it doesn't matter what the answer is, u don't have a problem if it is a "NO". It can't be true love.
So i picked up my phone and went through the phonebook...it took me half an hour and I burst into tears.Two more weeks and things were better than normal. Another chapter to be closed...phonebook again...and I dialed a "U". No matter what she said was true or not...accepting it as a truth was good enough to forget her. I felt aloneness...there is a difference in loneliness and aloneness...aloneness is not painful, its when you are complete and happy with no one else around. I felt freedom.Doing something is always better than not doing anything.

I thought over my list again...some things were deleted some were added. First things first. I started with guitar first and fortunately I got company this time to practice with, three good friends. Then came summer and I was in the pool again and now I know three styles other than freestyle.I am consistent this time, I don't think about question (ii) anymore. Only two things at a time and the confusion is gone.There is a lot to do but I will wait...at least I am not wasting my time and I have plans to utilize my future as well.